Where I'm At

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and that is for good reason. I was trying to focus on so many other things at once, that writing felt forced and wrong. I didn't even write to celebrate my one year mark of starting this blog.

There have been a lot of changes since my last post. Not to the site or the way that I write, but to me and my life as a whole. So this is a little bit of a look-see at what has been going on as of late.

I finished my third semester at school and I feel less than proud about it. I know that one bad semester doesn’t define me, but looking back on it still hurts a little bit. I did a lot that I am not proud of and slacked off a little too much.. Long story short, my GPA dropped 30 points. I’m not happy about it, no one would be, but I am working my tail off this semester to make up for it. No more messing around. But I won’t forget that It’s important to focus on your studies, but don’t neglect how I am feeling. If there is a sense of being overwhelmed,I know to take a step back and do something with my friends and roommates! Mental health is important, too.

We lost a roommate, but we are also gaining one! Moving in and choosing roommates is a difficult process. You want to pick people that you know will tolerate who you are at your best and worst times. Just because someone leaves, does not mean they are any less of a good friend than if they stayed. Opportunities arise and things change. It is important to be open to this change! You never know what can come from it.

I have grown more in my faith. This is something that has been really hard for me. I am over 100 miles away from my church, and when I am close enough to go, I work. It’s very difficult to stay true to your faith and build it when you can’t go to church. During times like this, I remind myself that the church doesn’t always need to be part of building and maintaining faith. I pray. Often. And when I do, I find that I feel a little bit closer to God and my church, no matter the distance. It’s been a long time coming, and I’m so glad that I am still growing in this way.

I got a diagnosis. Actually, I got many. This is something that is both very relieving and very scary. Getting diagnosed with something that you know so little about can be one of the most terrifying things to happen. I felt in the dark and alone for a very long time. This opened my eyes and allowed me to see that I’m not alone in the things that I have been going through, things that I’ve been dealing with since I was way younger. It was both freeing and debilitating. I felt like there was finally someone who understood and wanted to help, but I felt confined to the terms that were used to describe what I’m going through. It’s a work in progress, like much of my life right now.

Overall, I feel like the things that have happened have helped teach and shape me to be better prepared for what is yet to come. I’m ready, and this time I’m fighting.