What They Don't Tell You

I am 23 years old. I am essentially just starting my life. But for those that need to hear it, here are some things that they don’t tell you about being a young adult in the 21st century.

I’ll start with the most obvious: it is far from easy. The people who came before us made it look easier than what we are all experiencing. In many cases, they may have had it easier. College degrees were cheaper, they weren’t living through a recession where their degree may not mean much anyways, and there wasn’t social media to play into their imposter syndrome. Don’t let this fool you. You are doing great, even when it feels like you are doing far from exactly that.

You are still learning what it means to be an adult. Legally, you have only been one for a few years. Basically, you’re a baby adult. Live it up.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. We made them all the time when we were kids and they helped us to become the amazing people that we are now. There are still things that we have to learn from, things that we have to grow from. It’s okay.

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. There is plenty of time to get your degree, build your life, build your family. Do the things that are going to make you happy and revel in the moments lived with the people you love. You never know how long you have to do that.

Your 20’s can be so, so lonely. I genuinely don’t think that I have felt more alone in my life, and that is saying a lot. But at the same time, I have stopped begging people to be in my life, and started focusing on maintaining my peace. No one is worth your peace.

You’re likely burnt out. That happens. Take time for yourself, breathe, rest, and drink water you capable but dehydrated bitch. If you do not create time for your mind and body to rest, your mind and body will create that time for themselves. Trust me on this one.

You need to stop comparing your life path to everyone else’s that you see sprawled across socials.. That includes LinkedIn. Not everyone your age is living the dream working in their dream job while being in a relationship with the love of their lives. Some of us are still living with our parents and eating goldfish on the couch while watching HSM after working for 9 hours at a job we hate and just got done crying in the shower. We only post the best moments on our socials. This is just a fact. No one is going to post about their breakdown that they had in their car while chugging a Redbull and scream-singing to their sad playlist. This is why social media is dumb sometimes.

Take advantage of every opportunity (within reason). Not every opportunity is truly meant for us. This ties back into being burnt out. If you know you can’t handle something else on your plate, don’t put it there if you can avoid it. If it is something that is meant for you, you’ll feel it.

Lastly, be proud of everything you do. You got out of bed today even though you just wanted to lay in it forever? I’m proud of you. You ate three meals for the first time in weeks? Hell yeah. You bought a bed frame for your mattress so you are no longer sleeping on the floor? That’s amazing, and I hope you know that.

Our 20’s are hard. Life is hard. Sometimes it’s nice to know that we are seen and heard in the things that we are feeling.

I hear you. I see you. It’s okay, you can take a breath now.