The Beginning of the End.

When you’re a senior in high school and preparing for graduation, it feels like your whole life is shifting and nothing is going to stay the same for you. When you’re a senior in college and preparing for graduation, you look back at high school you and wish that was all you were feeling.

Graduation. It’s an exciting time in any academic career. I have been counting down the days to this moment since I started at Green Bay. But what I didn’t account for was all these “lasts” that I would be experiencing, and the impact that it would have on me.

I recently had a conversation with one of my college friends where I described what I am feeling as “I feel like I am floating”. Stuck somewhere in the “in-between” where I don’t want to leave these people that I have connected so deeply with, but knowing that just because I am leaving, that doesn’t mean that our friendship is ending.

You know what is ending?

My time on the A-Team, my time in Theta, my time in NRHH, and my time working at the front desk where I write letters to my favorite co-workers during the overnights. The little things that make college bearable and are the reasons for the amazing friendships that I have.

Back in December I officially gave up the first thing as a graduating senior: my presidency of my sorority. I knew that it was time, and I wanted to be there for the new exec board during their first semester of transition in case they needed anything. It was just the beginning of what was to come.

When this semester started I knew that there were going to be these moments within them. The moments where I try to hold onto every little piece of what is left. Drag out the late nights with friends, put my all into my tours, plan my final moments within my organizations so meticulously that it is borderline obsessive… I want to soak up every last bit of what is left of my undergrad with some of the people that have been through it all with me.

I have been planning the big end of the year event for NRHH and RHAA on campus and it has been a great distraction, but what happens when that is over? What happens when I have to say goodbye to another thing that has helped shape me into the person that I am? Don’t get me wrong, I cannot wait to see what happens to these orgs that I am leaving, and I know that the leaders who take over my positions are capable, but these are my babies.

Then there’s the A-Team. We just got back from laser tag - my last laser tag. This was the first thing I did as part of the team, and I will never forget sitting in the back of Andy’s car as Ben was grilling me trying to get to know me more on our way to what would be my favorite tradition. Tomorrow is my last all-team meeting. This is for sure one thing that I don’t want to let go of…

It hasn’t hit me fully yet. I don’t know when it is going to, and I really don’t want to. I want to live these last moments day-by-day and ensure that each second is filled with memories that I will look back on and enjoy (except for class… we all know how I feel about class right now).

It is the beginning of the end, and some things are just too hard to say goodbye to. But that is part of growing up, isn’t it? Moving on, moving out, moving away, moving forward. Just because it is the beginning of the end doesn’t mean that everything is ending. In fact, things are only just beginning.

The beginning of the end and the start of the rest of our lives. Time to cherish the first of the lasts with the best people I could ask to experience these moments with.