I Think This Is It.

If you have been reading these for a bit now you may have noticed that I have been unsure about a lot of things in my life. Unsure of who I am… sometimes unsure of the friends that I hold close to me… unsure of where I am going to end up… unsure of my future. Well, I think this is it:

I have begun the journey of looking into getting my masters and it isn’t in what you may think. I am sure that when I say that I want to get my masters that many of you are thinking that I will be going for something music or education related. I mean, that is what I have been studying for four years, right? Well… it got a bit more complicated than that.

For the longest time now it has felt like a battle to try and figure out if I wanted to teach or not. A battle of thinking I wasn’t good enough in my field for what I want to do. A battle of wondering if that is something that I can live with thinking for the rest of my life. The truth is, I can’t. I have been dealing with the thought that I am not good enough at what I do for far too long that it was time I sat down and really thought about what I want to do and why.

You see, I love my job. Well, one of my jobs. I love working with the incoming students, planning events, creating an environment that is welcoming and warm for people who may feel that same way that I have been feeling for far too long. I love so much about what I do, that I decided to look into if I can do it for the rest of my life. I can.

There are masters programs for higher education administration and student life. There are masters programs for working with those students who are just like me. There are masters programs that tailor towards what I really want to do.

I always thought that I wanted to do something with my life that would have an impact on those that I come into contact with. This is something that is still 100% possible with this job that I am looking into for my future and I have proof…

It starts with Adam. Adam was the supervisor for the Student Ambassadors for as long as I have wanted to be part of the team. He served and continues to serve as the person who I look up to when I question if what I am doing is right. I have spent many a day crying in his office because I feel hopeless, lost, confused. He took (takes) that ‘dad’ label that the team gave him very seriously because he is exactly that when he is not dealing with all of us crazies. Adam is someone that showed me that you can graduate from your undergrad and go in a completely different direction from where you thought you would be and that is okay. Adam showed me that it will be okay.

Then there’s Allie. Allie is FSL (Fraternity and Sorority Life) advisor. She oversees all of what is done within the FSL communities as well as has monthly meetings with the leaders of these organizations to ensure that things are running smoothly. Now, you might be asking what this has to do with my decision… Allie has been there to answer every question that has come to mind through this journey and beyond. Her door acts as a revolving door for all those that wish to enter (as long as she is not in a meeting). When people compare me to sunshine I have to laugh because I genuinely think that Allie is sunshine in human form.

Of course I wouldn’t be making this decision without Theta’s advisor, Lindsey. Lindsey lit up the moment that I told her I was considering the same program that she went through at her Alma Mater. Not only did she endure an hour of me grilling her for information about so many things that have to do with grad school, she has done nothing but encourage me since the day that I asked her to be our advisor. Lindsey is a blessing not only because she took Theta and is helping to build it back up when we were crumbling, but because I know that she is someone that I can go to with anything. Plus, she has impeccable style.

And lastly, I would be nowhere without MLB. Megan has been not only the advisor for one of my orgs, but the person I panic email at 3am when I cannot sleep and my mind seems to be going a million miles a minute. When I told her my plan to go into higher education, she immediately started talking to me about all the things that I need to do to prepare, gave me resources, and sat and talked with me about all my options for over an hour. She is not only one of my favorite people at UWGB, she is someone that I look up to greatly for the way that she cares so much about all the students that she comes into contact with. There is a reason I nominated her for an Of The Year award and she won.

You are probably wondering what all this has to do with my decision… I said I wanted to make an impact on people’s lives. I wanted to change them for the better. Without the people that I have mentioned, I probably would be a much different person coming out of my undergrad. Because these people in the higher education realm decided to take chances on me, I have been able to do so many amazing things that I never would have imagined. Because these people took a chance on me, I finally feel like I have the opportunity to do exactly what I am meant to do.

For the longest time now it has felt like a battle to try and figure out if I wanted to teach or not.

I think this is it.