I Am a Mosaic of Everyone I Have Ever Loved

My favorite color is yellow because it reminds me of my english teacher that I had my first two years of high school. I dogear my pages in my poetry books because one of my friends growing up used to do that to the pages she related to. I always keep my phone on silent because that’s what my brother always did with his and it feels right.

We are a constantly changing mosaic of the people that come in and out of our lives. We are an ever-evolving piece of work that each person who comes into our lives and holds some importance gets to sign. I think that is one of the most beautiful things about being human. We create these connections with other people that we value and decide that we are going to keep them. Like they are some sort of adorable pet.

I sit behind the passenger side of the car if I am in the back seat because my middle school best friend sat behind the driver and I still feel like I am taking her spot if I do. I play music while in the shower because that’s what my college roommates do. I hug people around their necks because that is how everyone I have ever loved has hugged me.

There are so many people that come into our lives that change them in miraculous ways. Both good and bad, they help create the person that we become just as much as our parents, if not more because these are people we choose to have in our lives. (That does not mean we are any less grateful for our parents, it’s just a fact). We create these people that we want to be based on all the different personalities of the people that we deem important in our lives. Constantly becoming someone new depending on the situation and the people that we are with.

My phone password is the birthdays of one of my first crushes and mine put together because it took me years to shake that and now it’s muscle memory typing it in. When I’m not using them, I put my glasses on my head like sunglasses because that is what my mom and aunt did all my life. I chose to pursue a teaching degree so I can change the lives of my students just like many of my teachers did growing up.

As we grow and change as young adults we often become someone that is a culmination of all the people that have blessed our lives. We base our personality off the people that we are closest to and often find ourselves sometimes even becoming physically like them in ways that we may not notice. This can be something like doing our hair similar to what the person who is important does, or even basing our style off of theirs.

My music is a mess of anything from the American Top 40 to 80’s Hair because rock music is all my mom would play in the car growing up. When driving and coming to a rapid stop, I’ll stick my arm out in front of the passenger side of the car if there is someone in the car with me because that is what every mom in my life has done to me. I call it a water fountain and not a bubbler because all my family is from Illinois and they don’t use that word.

I have come to realize that I am way more like the people that I surround myself with than I thought. Even little things like the way I tilt the shower head is different than it was before I met some of my friends because they have to have it a certain way. I guess the point that I am trying to make is this: we are all shaped by the people we surround ourselves with. Enjoy that.

I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever loved, even for a heartbeat.. and I wouldn’t change that for the world.